Scoliosis Australia Forums  

Go Back   Scoliosis Australia Forums > Adults > Non-surgical management

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  #1  
Old 14-01-2010, 04:26 PM
Ellieka Ellieka is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 2
Default Is anyone else as lonely as me?

Hi Everyone,

I am new to this forum and came across it quite by chance. Over the last few months I have been experiencing some back/neck/shoulder pain and thought that I should probably have a long overdue check-up. I was looking for my Dr's phone number and found this site.

So here I am. I am a 27 year old female living in Sydney. I am considering (depending on what a new doctor I have been referred to says) another surgery for both cosmetic and practical reasons. As you all know, and are probably the only ones, I am thin so sitting on hard straight backed chairs can be extremely unconfortable and its not exactly reasonable to carry a cushion everywhere you go. Fitting into clothes is a nightmare, my curve is quite huge. I usually end up crying when I go shopping, its so depressing seeing all the things I will never be able to wear.

I wonder about my wedding day, should I wear a huge veil that trails behind the dress so no one can see my back? Will everyone be staring at it? Will anyone want to marry me? As you have probably gathered I am extremely self-conscious. Sometimes I don't know whether I am paranoid or if everyone really is staring at me. I try to tell myself that no one pays that much attention.

After I left my last job I found out that I was referred to as "Quasimodo". So maybe I am not so crazy at all. It makes me bleed on the inside. In fact I spend most of my life positioning myself so that no one can see. I sit with my back to the wall etc. I was called a hunchback at school. I left early because I was teased so much but later finished my studies at TAFE.

I find it hard to make friends or become close to people because my whole life, well since I was a young teen at least I have been hiding what I feel is my shame. I must apologise if this upsets anyone, which I am sure it will but I have only ever spoken about this to one person and that was recently a few months ao. For years and years I have been isolated, I have no one to talk to, no one understands and in any event I am loathe to draw attention to it.

I feel so low and lonely.

Has anyone else ever experienced feeling like this? Does anyone understand what I am talking about?

Ellika
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 15-01-2010, 08:24 AM
Chic Chick Chic Chick is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 39
Default Re: Is anyone else as lonely as me?

Hi Ellieka,

I'm now 30 and had a brace for 2 years during year 8 and 9, and i was quite self conscious of how I looked. As you can imagine, it's not the best time to be feeling self consious when meeting boys at the local scool dances!!!!!

Have you managed to make an appointment with your doctor? I'm sure that the info on this site may help with finding the right person to help you with your back.

I can certinally appreciate where you are coming from, it often feels like there aren't many of us who would understand what it feels like when you thing that people are looking at you.

I can absolutely say that having a bad back is not shameful, it is just like having glasses, being particularly short, or not having all your limbs. These are the physical things that make us ourselves. We have options as to what and how we feel about it, and hopefully when you see your doctor, some of the visiable concerns may be allievated.


I'm not sure what types of clothes you like to wear, but i have found and continue to find that what looks good on me changes all the time, so sometimes it is a matter of trying things you never thought possible and they suprise you!

I would have never thought (being a fairly strict jeans and t-shirt kind of girl) that i would find myself in loose see-through tops over singlets and skirts!! In terms of fashion, there is always something about you and your body that is fantastic, personally, i love my collarbones! They show off necklaces beautifully, so i often wear scoop or cowell neck tops. Perhaps if you are uncomfortable with your back, you could wear some plainer tops with patterned / bright skirts to still show off a bit of spark and personality?

I regularly check the forum to see who is chatting, so hopefully with the help of this site and the people who are here to support all guys and girls who have / are about to / are wearing braces or undergoing surgery we can be a support for you.

i hope that now you will start to feel less isolated and know that there is someone to chat to.

speak to you soon
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 16-01-2010, 12:14 PM
Jen Jen is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Sunshine Coast, Queensland,
Posts: 448
Default Re: Is anyone else as lonely as me?

Hi Ellieka,

I was sorry to read your post. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to be young with an obvious scoliosis. Mine didn't really show until my 50s so I ignored it from age 13.

Can you tell us what size your curve is? And what surgery you've had? If you had fusion surgery, did the operation help to reduce your rib hump? There is certainly another surgery that can help reduce or even eliminate the rib hump. Perhaps Dr. Scoliosis can step in here with an explanation.

When do you see a surgeon? I hope you don't have long to wait because from the point of view of another patient but not a doctor, it seems that you may be suffering unnecessarily. Good luck, and I hope you let us know how you go.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 16-01-2010, 11:53 PM
Rodverta Braefusion Rodverta Braefusion is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 396
Default Re: Is anyone else as lonely as me?

Hi Elleika,
Welcome to the forum. I was saddened to read your post and i hope that by joining this forum you can find some comfort by expressing yourself with other scoli patients. My 5c worth (cause we don't have 2c anymore!), don't worry about what other people think, i know it's easier said than done, but, at the moment you have a medical condition, and, if people cant see this, they are just what i call, un-educated individuals. I hope you are not in too much pain and hopefully this new doctor can help you. Once again, welcome, looking forward to further 'chats'.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 20-01-2010, 10:05 PM
Jimbo Jimbo is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 2
Default Re: Is anyone else as lonely as me?

wow. i am going to send you a PM with some details that may help you Ellika.

I can empathise with you, i myself have been through the feelings of despair due to my spine, but there are options. I am going in for surgery in 5 days and it sounds like surgery may be best for you if your scoli that bad. I am also 27.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 25-01-2010, 09:57 AM
Ellieka Ellieka is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 2
Default Re: Is anyone else as lonely as me?

Thank you so much for your kind responses. I am so touched, I am crying. I truly hope I didn't upset anyone I was having a particularly bad day when I wrote that post.

All the best with your procedure Jimbo, my thoughts are with you.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 01-02-2010, 05:32 AM
Chic Chick Chic Chick is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 39
Default Re: Is anyone else as lonely as me?

Jimbo, hope all went well for the surgery and that you are recovering well
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 02-02-2010, 06:18 AM
Jen Jen is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Sunshine Coast, Queensland,
Posts: 448
Default Re: Is anyone else as lonely as me?

I don't think Jimbo will mind my saying that he had a couple of rough days but is doing really well now. The rest, I'll leave for him to update you when he's able.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 14-04-2010, 08:27 PM
Christine Christine is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 266
Default Re: Is anyone else as lonely as me?

Hello Ellieka
I joined the forum a few weeks ago and am still catching up and reading posts, and just found yours. What you wrote is me. All over. I am 47 now and have spent my whole life being inwardly melancholy while all the time trying to be brave and pretend I am normal and never mention my scoliosis to anyone. I hated even saying the word. Trying to hide never worked for me as I do like to (live as we do) but my self-loathing and self-consciousness has worn me down and I am quite tired of it. Now I am at the stage of having my scoliosis re-examined and I hope strongly that I can have surgery. I would sell my soul, if I believed in that kind of stuff! I live in Tasmania and we don't have a specialist (that is such a joke!) so I have to save up a bit of cash to get to the mainland to see a different surgeon to my regular one I used to see in Melbourne years ago.
Hopefully you have mustered up a bit of courage to seek some help. I wish I had when I was young enough to make a decision to change my life. cx
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 15-04-2010, 10:18 AM
katherineP katherineP is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 106
Default Re: Is anyone else as lonely as me?

hi ellieka,i had my surgery 4 weeks ago its been very hard but well worth it .i know how you feel finding clothes was the hardest thing i was so over wearing baggy clothes and i have always had my hair really long and straight to hind the hump . as of now this is the new me ive decided to cut my hair very short and when im well enough imgoing on a big shopping trip.im from melbourne my surgeon wasfantastic i hope you find the right one.this forum is great so keep in touch
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +10. The time now is 10:30 AM.

This forum is a project of

  
Spine Society of Australia

Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.